I'm really into asian looking animals
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
