Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
