So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
