I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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