Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
