after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize