Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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