So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
