i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
