i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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