Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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