Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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