I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
