yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
