And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize