how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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