question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
