I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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