The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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