Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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