You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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