At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
