K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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