We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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