Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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