I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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