just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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