We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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