Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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