dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
