He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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