and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
