Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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