youre lurking in front of me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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