a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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