I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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