As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
