Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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