his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to sanitize my soul.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
