I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
