Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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