is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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