You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
