the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
