i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
