Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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