I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
