she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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