I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
