I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
