In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
