Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
