That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
