i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who died my cat blue again?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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