ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
