he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
