So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
