I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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