If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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