john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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