In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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