Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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