He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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