Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
