Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize