so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
