we have pet lesbian snakes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
