How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize