oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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