Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
