speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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