we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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