Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
