The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we made out on top of his cat.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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